SAEDNEWS: When something distressing occurs and anger feels overwhelming, remember that the feeling may pass quickly, leaving you to face regret over thoughtless words or inappropriate actions that cannot be taken back.
According to the Saednews psychology service, when a distressing situation occurs and you cannot control your anger, you should remind yourself that this negative emotion may fade within a few minutes. At that point, you may be left with words spoken impulsively or actions that are not appropriate for a dignified person—things that cannot easily be repaired.
Instead of clenching your teeth and breathing rapidly, learn and practice the techniques outlined below. By doing so, you can gradually reduce your anger, negative emotions, and aggressive reactions, creating a calmer life for yourself and those around you.
We all experience anger, and it is undoubtedly not easy to control our speech, behavior, and thoughts in those moments. However, with practice, it is possible to develop the ability to achieve calmness using the strategies below.
1. Leave the situation
When you feel your anger rising and you might say something you will regret, change your current environment. For example, leave the room and take a short walk, or do something to distract yourself. Even a brief pause can reduce the intensity of anger. If necessary, leave the dinner table or a work meeting. Exiting the situation helps reduce emotional escalation.
Another benefit of leaving the environment is that it prevents you from showing hostile behavior or saying hurtful things, helping you preserve your dignity and social respect.
2. Take deep breaths
Whenever you are alone, practice deep breathing. Inhale through your nose for 5 seconds, hold your breath for 2 seconds, and exhale through your mouth for 10 seconds. Repeat this several times. This helps calm the nervous system and distances you from intrusive thoughts because you must focus on counting your breathing.
3. Change your perspective
After you calm down, ask yourself a few questions: Can you think more logically about what happened? What do you need to be heard or understood? What does the other person need—and could they have similar needs?
Thinking about the other person’s needs reduces your focus on anger and rigid demands, lowering negative emotions. This is the first step toward understanding the person who upset you.
4. Plan whether to speak or stay silent
Whether to talk about the situation depends on the context. Sometimes people speak in anger to defend themselves rather than to improve the situation. Before speaking, consider for a few seconds whether your words will help or worsen the situation. If they are constructive, speak; otherwise, control your emotions.
5. Take time before explaining
It is better to set a time for discussing what made you angry. First, write down your thoughts, then talk about them at an appropriate time.
6. Take responsibility
If you strongly feel the need to speak immediately about what caused your anger, be prepared to accept responsibility. Be accountable and explain your actions to the other person. Always use “I” statements when describing what you did or said.
