SAEDNEWS: This note aims to answer the question: “What are the limits of criticism of one’s spouse?”
According to Saednews, When we ask this question to women and men, we usually encounter different interpretations:
Some people set no limits or boundaries for criticizing their spouse. They believe there should be complete freedom in expressing criticism and argue that there is no need for etiquette between husband and wife in this regard. They say: since they are so close to each other, they should be able to express their criticisms openly and directly without being upset.
Another group believes that precisely because of the intimacy and closeness between husband and wife, observing etiquette and boundaries in criticism becomes even more necessary. They argue that intimacy can sometimes make people overly sensitive or shy when expressing criticism, which may lead them to suppress it.
The author’s view is that although there is a saying that “etiquette falls away between friends,” the issue of criticism is different from other matters. If people become close due to friendship and emotional bonds, then any criticism or advice should also take into account the other person’s temperament. It should not be the case that, simply because of friendship or marriage, everything in one’s heart is spoken without restraint.
Criticism is not meant to cause hurt.
Observing boundaries does not mean that spouses should avoid criticism out of fear of hurting each other. Rather, it means recognizing that criticism is necessary for growth and perfection, and in the end, it can create peace and unity between the couple.
Whenever husband and wife notice a weakness in each other that could harm themselves or their life together, they should be able to calmly and gently help the other understand it. If criticism increases love and affection between them, it is not considered an insult. In fact, it is the destruction of the relationship and emotional distance that can truly be seen as harmful and should be avoided.
It is important to note that just as unhealthy and inappropriate criticism can seriously damage a family and replace happiness with bitterness, affectionate and well-timed criticism can prevent hostility and conflict.
If criticism is delivered at the right time, place, and situation, using the correct method and with moderation, it becomes an effective educational approach. On the other hand, improper and provocative criticism turns into a destructive force against healthy upbringing and relationships.
In explaining family ethics, concepts such as “tolerance” or “overlooking minor faults” are sometimes mentioned. However, these should not be misunderstood.
“Overlooking faults” does not mean that a husband or wife should always ignore each other’s mistakes. Rather, it applies only in certain situations. In other cases, proper and thoughtful correction of a spouse’s behavior is necessary.
Couples who ignore all problems in their relationship under the excuse of “tolerance” should know that this approach can multiply challenges in their life together. When criticism is never expressed on one hand, and only excessive praise is offered on the other, problems become more complex and may even lead to arrogance and self-delusion in the relationship.
