SAEDNEWS: Single women judge men based on personality, values, and compatibility, shaped by past experiences and relationship goals.
Sometimes, women between the ages of 25 and 35 come to psychotherapists feeling that, because of their age, they are at risk of not marrying. At the same time, they often present a complaint that, over the years, they either have been unable to establish meaningful relationships with men or, when they have entered a relationship, it quickly fell apart. In some cases, after just two or three initial meetings, the man requested a sexual relationship, leading the woman to end the connection. In other cases, after a few months of building intimacy and love, the men abruptly left without any reasonable explanation, leaving the women behind.
These women feel a deep sense of loss and betrayal, especially since it is often the first time in their lives that they have allowed a man to get close to them. Alongside intense anger toward these emotionally detached or selfish men, they often blame themselves for agreeing to a relationship that “was never meant to go anywhere.”
Part of the issue seems to stem from the way some of these women were raised. They grew up in families that tend to see the world in black and white, dividing girls into “good girls” and “bad girls.” This rigid dichotomy appears to be a semi-conscious or unconscious strategy to protect girls’ moral, emotional, and physical integrity. In such protective upbringings, girls are taught not only to shield themselves from “bad men” outside but also to fight internal desires and sexual urges, often suppressing them to the point of near-complete denial.
Many women internalize the belief that:
Most men, unlike their father, brother, or uncle, are driven by lust and are unreliable.
Men only think about sex in relationships with women.
Only men who declare from the start that they are interested in marriage are “good men.”
If a man does not express a clear intention to marry, continuing a relationship—even if he claims to love you—is not worthwhile.
Love that is not tied to the prospect of marriage offers no real benefit.
Emotional intimacy is a precious resource that should only be shared with someone genuinely intending to marry you.
Pre-marriage friendships that are not expected to lead to marriage carry a major risk: dependency.
Becoming emotionally dependent on a man can be deeply painful and potentially destructive.
Fear of remaining unmarried is not inherently alarming. However, when a woman combines this concern with other limitations, obstacles, challenges, and personal worries, the situation becomes overwhelming. Anxiety about the future and fear of loneliness have become central concerns for many unmarried women—or even for divorced and single women—driving them to pursue risky or costly solutions to escape these feelings.
Many of the women we are discussing have little to no sexual experience, have not undergone hormonal changes associated with intimate relationships, and may have limited chances of becoming biological mothers. These factors can contribute to a range of physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological challenges. Moreover, many unmarried women, due to religious or traditional beliefs, avoid temporary relationships or casual dating, which leaves them with minimal experience in interacting with the opposite sex.
