How to Tell Your Child "How They Were Born"

One of the most critical stages of a child's growth is when they start questioning how they and other babies are born. For adults, these questions are often intertwined with sexual topics. If parents aren't prepared, they might be taken aback, become worried, and give inappropriate answers. However, by knowing a few simple tips, you can ease your child's mind until they reach an appropriate age to understand sexual topics correctly.

The answer to the question of how a child is born differs for children under seven compared to older children. Children usually start asking these types of questions around the age of three.

Pay Attention to Your Child's Sexual Education

Children can generally be divided into two categories regarding sexual education. The first category includes children whose parents are cautious about their actions and behavior in front of the child and ensure that their child does not receive information about sexual topics beyond their age and understanding from media, the internet, or even acquaintances and relatives. These children easily accept scientific explanations within their comprehension and receive a sufficient answer to their question.

On the other hand, some parents mistakenly believe that the sooner and more their child becomes familiar with these issues, the easier it will be for them, and their child will grow up without sensitivity and curiosity. However, this approach only leads to early puberty and subsequent problems. Additionally, with these children, it is not possible to discuss scientific topics while maintaining modesty and decency because they have received information beyond their age and have even formed images in their minds. The problem of these children can only be resolved with specialized counseling.

Explain the Birth Story from the End

Whenever children ask a new question that requires a specific skill to answer, you must first understand how much your child knows about the topic. When your child asks about how a baby is born, the first step is to assess their knowledge in a friendly environment. For example, ask, "What do you think?" If you don't gauge their knowledge, you might decide to give them a simple answer and then be surprised to find out they know much more than that. Conversely, giving too much information that isn't necessary at the moment is also possible.

Consider a situation where parents realize their child, who asked, "How was I born?" has zero knowledge about the topic. In this case, the best response is a simple one: "It was in August when I went to the hospital, and you were born." "That year, I went to the hospital, and the doctor helped me bring you into the world." This response describes the final stage of a baby's birth. Instead of starting from the beginning, it's better to start from the end. Many children are satisfied with this answer because they get caught up in the story of the hospital and the doctor.

Relate Birth Questions to "God"

Sometimes children ask this question differently. For example, they might see a woman who didn't show signs of pregnancy before but now has a prominent belly and ask, "How did the baby get into Auntie's belly?" In this case, the best answer is "God." Apart from sexual matters, correctly introduce God as the reason for a baby's existence and instill this in the child's mind. "Auntie and Uncle asked God to give them a baby. God put a baby in Auntie's belly, which grows bigger every day. One day, when the doctor decides, Auntie will go to the hospital, and her baby will be born."

Other phrases like "Everyone in this world was brought here by God's invitation" and "God wanted me to be your mom and Dad to be your dad" are good general answers. These general statements are the best responses to such questions from young children. The more detailed we get, the more sensitive and detailed their questions will become.

Have Boundaries in Your Answers

When your child starts asking questions like "Where did I come from?" or "How did the baby get into Mommy's belly?" there are a few points to consider as boundaries to avoid crossing.

Don't Label: These questions are entirely natural from the age of three onwards, and parents should not think the child is asking an inappropriate question. Just as it is natural for a child to start walking or eating at a certain age, asking questions about where they came from is also natural. So, don't say, "Be ashamed, what kind of question is that?" "Who told you that? Did someone say something to you?" "It's too early for you to ask this question, don't repeat it!" Children usually stop asking questions in these situations, but it doesn't mean they have forgotten the question. Eventually, they will likely find the answer from an inappropriate source.

Don't Give Too Much Information: All parents know that certain foods are suitable for a specific age. Giving a child complete information about the process of conception and birth is like giving them a heavy meal at three months old! It's just as dangerous and harmful!

Don't Lie: When asked sexual questions, unprepared parents are often taken aback. They might say the first thing that comes to mind: "Daddy bought the baby from the doctor" or "Mommy ate an apple, and the apple turned into a baby in her belly." These are lies, and when the child grows older and realizes the truth, they will lose trust in their parents.

Another question that might arise after these is, "Why don't I have a baby? I asked God to give me a baby, so why doesn't He?" Here, it's necessary to explain the need for a couple to have a baby, but in a child-friendly way: "Every baby needs both a mom and a dad. See, you have a mom and a dad. Your cousin also has a mom and a dad. When there is a mom and dad in a home, God agrees to give them a baby."