SAEDNEWS: Psychologists say that negative inner conversations can affect how we perceive ourselves and may even influence the brain’s and body’s responses.
According to SaedNews Psychology Service, phrases such as “I am useless,” “No one is more unlucky than me,” “I cannot handle this,” “I know it won’t work,” “I am too weak,” “I am stupid,” or “How miserable I am” are not simply passing expressions spoken out of anger or disappointment.
Psychologists explain that language is not only a tool for expressing thoughts; it can also shape those thoughts, influence how we view ourselves, and affect the way our brain and body respond. Even when these statements are said as jokes, the mind may gradually absorb them as part of our identity. Over time, we may unconsciously begin living according to the image we have created of ourselves through our own words.
Statements like “I am miserable” or “I am unlucky” may seem like ordinary complaints, but psychologists say that repeated negative self-talk can influence self-perception, mental processing, and even emotional and physical reactions.
Dr. Mohammad Garavandnia, a psychologist and therapist, explains that language can affect the way our mental system functions.
“Throughout human history, language has had a survival role, which is why the human mind is highly sensitive to verbal messages,” he says.
He adds that psychology has increasingly focused on the role of language in recent years. Researchers now believe that the way people speak to themselves can influence their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. When used unconsciously, internal dialogue can become a source of psychological distress.
According to Steven C. Hayes, one of the leading researchers in the field of language and psychology, the problem is not language itself, but how we use it.
Garavandnia gives an example:
“When someone repeatedly asks, ‘Why did this happen to me?’, ‘Why did it happen again?’, or says, ‘I failed,’ the mind begins to operate based on these negative judgments and uses them as a way to evaluate the self. This is one of the first ways language influences the mind.”
He explains that pain is a natural and unavoidable part of human life. Losing loved ones, illness, failure, rejection, disappointment, and divorce are all normal human experiences.
However, when people repeatedly focus on these painful events and tell themselves negative stories such as “I cannot do this” or “I have failed,” the mind begins treating these thoughts as evidence about who they are.
One major consequence of negative self-talk is a process known in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) as cognitive fusion.
Garavandnia explains:
“In cognitive fusion, a person becomes so connected with their thoughts that they begin to see them as absolute truths. For example, when someone thinks, ‘I am worthless,’ they no longer see it as just a thought. They see it as a fact about their identity. But a thought is only a thought, not necessarily reality.”
One goal of ACT therapy is helping people create distance between themselves and their thoughts.
Another effect of language is that it can bring past experiences and future fears into the present moment.
Humans often think through words, and a large part of thinking is created through language.
A person may be sitting peacefully in a quiet room but suddenly remember a painful event and experience the same anxiety they felt in the past. Similarly, imagining a possible negative event in the future can increase heart rate and trigger physical stress responses.
Through language, the mind can bring events that are not happening now into the present and make them feel real.
Another way language contributes to psychological suffering is through what ACT describes as experiential avoidance.
The mind may constantly tell a person:
“You should not feel anxious.”
“You should not feel sad.”
“You must always be happy.”
“You need to get rid of uncomfortable emotions immediately.”
Even when sadness is a completely natural response, people may fight against it.
As a result, much of their energy is spent trying to escape unpleasant thoughts, emotions, and memories. Instead of creating peace, this struggle can deepen emotional suffering.
Garavandnia explains that another harmful effect of language is creating rigid and fixed identities.
For example, instead of saying:
“I think I have failed,”
a person may say:
“I am a failure.”
In this situation, language removes the difference between a temporary experience and a person’s identity.
A thought can be incorrect. A mistake can be temporary. A difficult period does not define a person’s entire life. However, negative labels can make people organize their future around these beliefs.
Garavandnia emphasizes that language itself is not negative.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, language is considered one of humanity’s greatest abilities. Science, art, planning, relationships, and many achievements of civilization exist because of human language.
The problem begins when people are unaware of how their minds and language systems work.
The goal of ACT is not to eliminate thoughts or silence the mind. Instead, it helps people change their relationship with their thoughts.
People learn to see thoughts as mental events rather than commands or undeniable truths.
From the perspective of ACT, language shapes our understanding through processes such as judgment, comparison, and categorization.
Garavandnia says that the more aware people become of these mental patterns, the less likely they are to become trapped in harmful self-judgments.
If someone repeatedly tells themselves, “I am miserable,” the brain does not treat it as just a sentence. Instead, it begins searching for information and memories that support this belief.
The words we repeat to ourselves can influence the reality we experience.
So ask yourself:
How many times have you told yourself, “I can’t,” “I am unlucky,” or “I am not good enough”?
Perhaps it is time to change that inner conversation.
A kinder way of speaking to yourself can become the beginning of a healthier relationship with your own mind.
