SAEDNEWS: What is jealousy? How does it differ from the positive feeling of envy, and how can it be controlled? Join us in this article as we explore these questions in detail.
Jealousy is an emotion we are all familiar with. We've encountered it either within ourselves or in those around us. This feeling exists in everyone, but while some people can control and manage their jealousy, others struggle to keep it in check.
Jealousy is the desire for someone else's blessings or success to be taken away. A jealous person feels dissatisfied with others' happiness, achievements, or recognition, whether in financial, academic, or professional fields. They resent others receiving attention, praise, or opportunities and cannot bear to see someone else enjoying comfort or success.
Over time, jealousy leads to feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, leaving the jealous person with a sense of humiliation and self-loathing. This emotion is often accompanied by fear—fear of losing someone’s affection, fear of losing a position they aspired to, or fear of being overshadowed by someone else’s success.
In Persian, jealousy is also referred to as "rashk." A jealous person often expresses their feelings through criticism, indifference, or hostility towards the person they are envious of. They might try to undermine their rival to secure their own position. Many pessimistic individuals fall into this pattern of behavior.
A significant problem with jealousy is that it causes people to exaggerate others' happiness and minimize their struggles. They focus only on the surface-level appearance of success without seeing the challenges and hardships others may face.
Jealous individuals rarely view life as a whole; instead, they focus on isolated moments of someone else's happiness. Their perception is often distorted and unrealistic, built on incomplete or inaccurate information.
Imam Sadiq (AS) said:
"A believer feels envy but does not harbor jealousy, while a hypocrite feels jealousy but does not experience envy."
To understand the difference, let’s define envy:
Envy is wishing to have what someone else has, without desiring their loss.
Jealousy, on the other hand, involves wishing that someone loses their blessings entirely.
In short:
Jealousy is directed towards others and their success.
Envy is directed inward, inspiring self-improvement.
For example:
When we are jealous of a beautiful person, we might think, "I wish their beauty would fade."
When we envy them, we think, "I will work hard to improve my appearance."
While jealousy breeds negative emotions like resentment and bitterness, envy can often be a motivating force for self-improvement and growth.
As mentioned earlier, jealousy is a natural emotion, but some people channel it into healthy competition and self-growth, while others allow it to become destructive.
If you struggle with jealousy, here are some effective strategies to help you manage it:
When feelings of jealousy arise, stay calm and avoid impulsive or negative reactions. Acting out on jealousy can harm your relationships and friendships.
Take deep breaths.
Discuss your feelings only when you're calm and collected.
Jealousy often arises from faulty assumptions and imagined scenarios.
Ask yourself if your feelings are based on facts or assumptions.
Challenge negative thoughts with rational ones.
Jealousy is often rooted in low self-esteem and insecurity.
Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments.
Engage in activities that boost your self-confidence and make you feel capable.
Comparison is one of the biggest triggers of jealousy.
Understand that you only see the highlights of others' lives, not their struggles.
Focus on your own journey and progress instead of measuring yourself against others.
Selfishness and unrealistic expectations often fuel jealousy.
Be grateful for what you already have.
Strive for growth, but avoid unreasonable demands on yourself or others.
Excessive emotional dependence can make jealousy worse.
Understand that your family, friends, and loved ones have their own goals and needs.
Avoid placing emotional burdens on others or expecting them to fulfill all your needs.
Positive thoughts can significantly impact your mental well-being.
Focus on your strengths and blessings.
Avoid ruminating on negative thoughts or perceived inadequacies.
Remind yourself regularly: "I will not let jealousy control me."
If jealousy feels overwhelming and uncontrollable, it’s wise to seek help from a therapist or counselor.
A professional can help you identify the root cause of your jealousy.
Therapy provides personalized strategies for managing your emotions effectively.
Jealousy is a destructive emotion that can have harmful effects on your mental health, behavior, and relationships.
Once you understand what jealousy is and how it differs from envy, the next step is to learn to control and overcome it.
Challenge societal pressures and assumptions.
Redefine your own values and goals.
Remember that overcoming jealousy takes patience, self-awareness, and consistent effort.
If you suspect that your jealousy is rooted in childhood experiences or feel unable to manage it alone, don't hesitate to seek professional help.
With time, effort, and the right mindset, you can transform jealousy into gratitude, self-awareness, and emotional balance—building a happier and more fulfilling life.
