Spousal Separation: A New Form of Family Life / Separation in Iran Is Not a Sign of Family Collapse

According to SaedNews’ Social Affairs Desk, the seminar titled “Family and the Phenomenon of Spouses Living Apart” was held on Tuesday, October 14, at the Faculty of Literature and Humanities, University of Gilan. The event was organized by the Iranian Sociological Association – Gilan Branch – and the Social Sciences Student Association of the University of Gilan. Dr. Hamideh Mohammadzadeh, a PhD in Cultural Sociology and lecturer at Shahid Madani University of Azerbaijan, delivered a lecture, while Dr. Ali Yaghoubi, Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of Gilan, chaired the session.

Dr. Yaghoubi discussed the concept of family, its transformations, and the distinction between the “house” as a physical space and “home” as an emotional space. Referring to Durkheim’s shift from a mechanical to an organic perspective on society, he explained that the family has lost its homogeneous structure and is moving toward diversity and dispersion. He distinguished the phenomenon of spouses living apart from concepts such as cohabitation, divorce, or single living and referred to Dr. Mohammadzadeh’s research on “intimate relationships in separate living arrangements.”

Dr. Mohammadzadeh introduced the term “Living Apart Together” (LAT), first coined in 1978, which still lacks a universally agreed-upon definition. According to her, LAT describes couples who maintain a committed emotional relationship but do not live in the same household. These couples may be married or unmarried, heterosexual or same-sex. She added that while living apart has historical roots, in contemporary times it has shifted from an emergency arrangement to a conscious choice for some couples.

She emphasized that her research examined couples who live apart for reasons other than marital conflict, such as work commitments, education, migration, or caring for elderly parents. Her central research question was: “What structural, cognitive, and individual factors lead some couples to choose living apart?” Reviewing theoretical literature, she noted two perspectives: first, the individualization theory, which highlights the decline of traditional structures and the rise of personal choice, rendering the family a “zombie category”—alive in appearance but transformed internally. The second perspective views living apart as either a conscious choice to maintain independence and intimacy or as a temporary stage until circumstances improve.

Mohammadzadeh categorized the factors behind living apart into socio-economic and individual dimensions, ranging from professional and educational necessities to the need for personal space, identity, and avoidance of monotony. She observed that some couples do not want to choose between a relationship and career and use living apart to preserve both. While men often perceive it as an outcome of economic necessity, women view it as an opportunity for independence, challenging gender norms, and enhancing relationship quality.

According to her, living apart in Iran is not a sign of family collapse but a transformation in its content—highlighting individuality, maintaining personal boundaries, avoiding routine, and redefining roles. She noted that this lifestyle is still largely overlooked in Iran, whereas in Western societies, it accounts for approximately 10% of couples.