Is Checking Your Spouse’s Phone the Right Thing To Do?

According to the Saed News community portal, Paridokht Zand, a personality psychologist, said in an interview: "Everything comes down to making a conscious decision to trust someone. You need to ask yourself, what does transparency in a relationship really mean? Does checking each other’s phones indicate transparency, or insecurity? These anxious checks have no place in a truly transparent relationship."

She added, "We should help people who suffer from paranoia to be able to trust again. One way to do this is to help them understand that when they view someone with distrust, everything seems suspicious. Even if we check our own emails suspiciously, eventually we’ll find something that seems questionable. With this mindset, any conversation can appear suspicious. If you’re searching for evidence of your partner’s infidelity, you will eventually find it."

Zand explained: "We encourage couples to instead try to catch each other doing something good. Catching each other doing something wrong never ends well, and no one likes to feel constantly monitored."

She noted, "If someone has a habit of checking their partner without any prior betrayal, it usually reflects very low self-esteem. They may worry that if they aren’t vigilant, their partner will find someone more attractive. I’ve seen many people push their partners away with this kind of jealousy. So be careful: if you engage in these intrusive checks, your lack of trust could ultimately lead to the very betrayal you fear."

Zand emphasized, "If a couple comes to me in this situation, I tell them that their relationship is on shaky ground. I tell them, 'Either stop this constant checking, or reconsider your relationship.' Being in a relationship where you cannot trust your partner has no value."

She concluded, "One Greek myth says, 'Love cannot exist where there is no trust.' I agree. If you cannot trust your partner, you have four options: end the relationship and find someone you can trust; choose to trust your partner again; remain silent and keep your distrust to yourself; or seek professional help to resolve issues related to distrust."