What to Do When Kids Refuse to Do Their Homework

According to the Children’s Section of SaedNews, homework is like fertile soil—a foundation that nurtures students’ academic growth. Just as fertile soil provides essential nutrients for plants, homework offers opportunities beyond classroom learning. Moreover, completing assignments serves as a bridge between school and home, engaging the parent community. To understand how involved parents should be, we spoke with educational psychologist Maryam Yamin.

Competence and Self-Efficacy Beyond Completing Assignments

Maryam Yamin emphasizes that fostering a sense of competence in students is more important than the act of completing homework itself. “Often, a child may finish an assignment yet feel incapable, or conversely, may not complete it but still feel empowered. The belief a child forms about themselves in first grade often accompanies them through their entire school journey, and changing it later consumes significant energy.”

She continues, “Schools should avoid assigning heavy homework initially. If they do, parents should make the process enjoyable based on their understanding of the child. For example, if a teacher assigns one page of homework, the parent can allow a short play break or a snack before completing the rest. Asking children to do all tasks at once leads to fatigue, frustration, and aversion to learning. But if the first experience is enjoyable, children will approach future assignments with enthusiasm.”

Parents as Facilitators, Not Taskmasters

Parents should not take responsibility for their child’s homework or constantly check whether it’s done. Such behavior fosters negative feelings toward both parents and schoolwork. Instead, parents should act as facilitators. From day one, help children create a checklist of daily tasks. Just like a weekly schedule on the wall, this checklist should be displayed and include activities such as homework, snack time, and leisure.

Rather than saying, “Do your homework,” remind the child to check the list and follow the schedule. To make it engaging, use circles to mark progress or faces to indicate effort and mood. The role of the parent is to teach planning, not to sit with the child for the entire duration of homework, as this undermines independence and creates challenges in higher grades.

Building Focus from the Beginning

Focus is a skill cultivated from birth. If a child’s attention is frequently disrupted as a toddler, their ability to concentrate later diminishes. Excessive screen time also reduces focus. Parents must intentionally shape attention skills to ensure children can concentrate when doing homework.

Focus is not an innate trait—it can be developed through practice, regardless of age. Mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and limiting distractions can enhance concentration. Children’s flexibility makes it easier to strengthen focus through simple exercises, such as household chores that require patience and repetition.

Adjusting Parental Involvement

There is no universal formula for parents being present during homework. Each parent must assess how much support is needed. Over-involved “helicopter” parenting must gradually step back, allowing children to develop independence step by step. Start small—writing plans together, then gradually letting the child follow them alone.

Meaningful Homework Matters

Homework should be meaningful and engaging, not just assigned because the teacher decided it was necessary. Parents can enhance the relevance—for instance, writing a letter to someone meaningful to the child. Gradually, as children experience competence, their interest grows. Assignments should be short, spread throughout the week, and adapted to the child’s capacity.

Strengthening Fine Motor Skills

In first grade, weak hand muscles contribute to fatigue during homework. Activities like playdough, clay, and scissor practice strengthen hand muscles and reduce the perceived difficulty of writing tasks. Mandala coloring, which requires fine attention, is also recommended to improve hand-eye coordination.

Maintaining Parent-Child Relationships

Above all, parents should avoid damaging their relationship with the child over homework. The responsibility for completing assignments rests with the student, not the parent. Parents should communicate with teachers about expectations, while children learn responsibility through collaboration with the school. The key is that children understand their tasks, consequences, and independence without feeling parental pressure.

By balancing guidance, independence, and meaningful engagement, homework becomes more than a routine—it becomes fertile ground for nurturing competence, focus, and lifelong learning.