SAEDNEWS: Some advisors tell audiences to introduce their children to sexual matters unquestioningly. To explore this topic from an Islamic perspective, we turned to family counselor Dr. Tahereh Hamiz to hear her insights on sex education.
According to SaedNews, citing Fars News Agency, a mother shared a terrifying experience: “I went to the vegetable market with my 5-year-old son. We bought everything from chicken to milk. On the way back, the children were playing in the parking lot—one boy about 10 years old and a few others around 7 or 8. My son was restless, eager to play, so I asked him to stay next to the car to guard our purchases while I carried half the groceries to the elevator. I got distracted during the transfer, and after about 20 minutes, when I returned to the parking lot, my son was nowhere to be seen. I scanned the area and found him in a corner, pale and distressed. I rushed to him and asked how he was.”
Shocked, the boy revealed the name of a 10-year-old who had approached him after the mother left, grabbed him by the collar, exposed his genitals, and said: “My mother says no one can touch my private parts, but I allow you to touch them!” As soon as the elevator opened and the mother arrived, the boy released him and fled. The innocent child, traumatized by the incident, has since been plagued by nightmares and persistent anxiety.
This real-life incident, shared by a mother seeking family counseling, highlights the debate around sexual education. Some Western-influenced theories and counseling approaches suggest that children should receive sexual education early. However, according to certain experts, such instruction can overstimulate children’s curiosity and even trigger premature sexual development. Previous reports have also warned that Western-style sexual education poses a dangerous influence on the next generation, as children may seek to act on what they learn.
To explore an Islamic perspective on this topic, we spoke with Professor Tahereh Hamiz, a scholar at religious and secular universities, member of the faculty at Farhangian University and Al-Zahra University, a family and youth counselor, and a psychology and Islamic studies expert at Iran’s national broadcasting network.
“Raise Children Naively About Sexual Matters!”
Some media outlets and child-rearing experts claim sexual education is more essential than daily bread. What’s your perspective? At what age should sexual education begin?
Professor Hamiz explains: “We should not provide sexual education to children. Islamic traditions repeatedly instruct us to raise children naively regarding sexual matters because children cannot remain indifferent—they become curious and will not stop until they experience it. In Islam, there is no recommendation to educate children about sexual issues. Instead, parents, elders, or in the case of orphaned or poorly supervised children, other family members are responsible for protecting them. Islam emphasizes safeguarding children by compassionate, wise, and virtuous guardians. There is absolutely no directive to teach children sexual matters themselves.”
Sexual Education Can Do More Harm Than Good
So sexual education does not benefit children, but can actually harm them?
“Exactly. Teaching a child that their private parts are off-limits does not guarantee they will respect it. The child may hide, lie, or act on it. Sexual education offers no real protection; it is a misconception to think otherwise,” says Hamiz.
Introduce Children to Sexual Morality Instead
In earlier generations, before the widespread availability of the internet, satellites, and social media, children were largely unaware of sexual content. Today, such exposure heightens curiosity. How should parents respond when children ask questions like: “What is the difference between boys and girls?”
“Children should be raised with sexual morality,” Hamiz advises. “We must guide them with reference to Islamic teachings. If a child acquires information prematurely, we first assess and clarify what they know. God protects those who strive for chastity; children of virtuous parents often show little curiosity about such matters. For example, a relative shared that during school years under the Shah, classmates looked at explicit magazines, but she was repelled and avoided them. She later realized that divine protection and her parents’ virtuous example shielded her from exposure.”
Children from well-ordered, moral families rarely ask sexual questions. But if a child has been exposed, parents should carefully manage the information and guide them toward morality, praising good behavior and, if necessary, using corrective measures appropriate to the child’s level of understanding.
Answering Natural Questions Without Overexposure
Children inevitably encounter questions about birth. When a child asks: “How was I born?” a simple, age-appropriate explanation suffices: “You grew inside my womb. When you were ready, the doctor delivered you by surgery and stitched me back up.” Historically, natural birth made this more complex, but modern explanations can satisfy curiosity without overexposing the child.
“Even in some Western families that value morality, they tell children that storks brought them as a way to explain birth without sexual content. Many families today are influenced by inappropriate media, which fuels curiosity and risk.”
Teach Sexual Morality Gradually, Not Prematurely
When should sexual guidance be introduced?
“Sexual education should begin only when children ask questions. First, clarify the information they have received, then gradually instill sexual morality. Teaching chastity helps protect children. For instance, a girl recounted how her mother corrected her behavior discreetly when interacting with a boy cousin, teaching her caution without explicit sexual discussion. Later, she understood that this protection prevented potential danger.”
Sexual education in Islam differs from Western models. Its goal is to prevent premature exposure and misbehavior. Guidance should begin even before conception. The Qur’an (17:64) warns Satan’s influence extends to wealth and children; Hadiths emphasize safeguarding offspring by moral, virtuous parents, ensuring children are not exposed to sexual acts or corruption. Qur’an (24:58–59) also instructs that children should not witness parents undressing. If a child is exposed to sexual content, protection and correction become much harder. Islamic education focuses on preventive moral cultivation rather than post-exposure instruction.
