Saad News: Infidelity is a costly matter that can lead to distress, breakup, divorce, and even violence. So, what is the cause of men's infidelity? Why do they still engage in it despite all its consequences?
According to the Family Magazine service of Saad News, infidelity is the most devastating experience a woman can have. The foundation of a marriage is built on trust, and following that, loyalty. When infidelity occurs, the family unit and emotional relationships suffer a severe blow.
The reality is that, according to psychological principles, men (60%) cheat on their spouses more than women (40%), engage in extramarital sexual behaviors, and divorce is not far from being a possibility.
Just as loyalty to a spouse encompasses various meanings, including honesty about thoughts and feelings and commitment to one’s partner, infidelity also has different forms. Additionally, there are multiple reasons why men cheat on the women they love.
What is the reason for infidelity in married men?
Infidelity is a costly matter that can lead to distress, breakups, divorce, and even violence. So what causes men to cheat? Why do they do it despite all the consequences?
A recent study shows that you might be excellent in your relationship, but for reasons that have nothing to do with you, your partner may be tempted and cheat. Or there could be deficiencies in the marriage, which a woman outside of the marriage, by forming a relationship with a married man, can compensate for these deficiencies. You need to recognize these reasons first.
Lack of Love One of the most common triggers for infidelity in men, from a psychological perspective, is a lack of love. This means that the man no longer feels passionate love or even in love in his marriage. Instead, he sees the relationship as boring, dull, or stagnant. This is where emotional infidelity starts, and the man seeks love and affection elsewhere. Psychologists suggest that a lack of love is a powerful motivation for infidelity, and certainly one of the strongest reasons for married men's cheating.
If there is a lack of love in the relationship, the man will respond to the first attention and affection he receives. In many cases, a relationship with a married man stems from simple, initial forms of attention.
Sexual Desire Dissatisfaction with sexual life in marriage is perhaps one of the most obvious reasons for infidelity in married men. In this case, the partner has lost interest or wants to try something new that you cannot provide for him. So, he will look to fulfill his needs and desires in a way that is outside of marriage.
Anger or Revenge Sometimes, married men's infidelity is driven by anger or a desire for revenge. You may have recently severely disappointed your husband, and he feels hurt and bewildered. He might want to make you feel the same emotions so that you can understand the pain he feels.
In other words, in this case, the logic of a cheating man is: “He hurt me, so now I will hurt him.” Infidelity due to anger can happen for reasons other than revenge, such as the man’s frustration in a relationship when he realizes his wife doesn't understand him.
Additionally, anger toward a partner who doesn't care for him or has little to offer physically or emotionally, anger or frustration after an argument, and more, can all be factors that lead a man to cheat.
Regardless of the main reason, anger can act as a powerful motivator for becoming intimate with another person.
Opportunity Generally, having an opportunity for infidelity increases the likelihood of a man cheating on his wife. However, this does not mean that everyone who has the chance will do so. But the availability of a situation often (but not always) increases the motivation for infidelity.
Consider this simple example: you’ve recently had a problem in your relationship, and your husband is feeling down and has lost his confidence. One day, a coworker talks to him in a friendly manner and says, “I’m really attracted to you, and I like you.” This might be exactly what the man needs at that moment, and it could easily lead to a relationship with the married man. In fact, if only one or two factors are involved, the man might not choose to cheat.
Unmet Needs If you ask why a married man cheats, the answer is simple: sometimes, the needs of one or both partners in a relationship go unmet.
Many people choose to stay in the relationship, often hoping that things will improve. However, unmet needs can lead to frustration, which, if the situation doesn't improve, could worsen and become one of the reasons for infidelity in married men.
This can provide a motivation for the man to fulfill his needs elsewhere. For example, when one or both partners spend a lot of time away from home, unmet emotional needs can be a motivation for the spouse’s infidelity.
Desire for Variety Desire for variety is another well-known reason for married men’s infidelity. Within the context of a relationship, the desire for variety often relates to sexual relationships.
For instance, someone might be interested in exploring different types of sexual relationships that their partner is not into. Also, variety could mean: different conversations or communication styles, different non-sexual activities, relationships with others in addition to the current partner, etc. This desire for variety is a major reason for married men’s infidelity.
Low Self-esteem Psychology of married men shows that a desire to boost self-esteem can be a motive for infidelity. A married man may cheat because being with a new person can create positive feelings in him. In fact, cheating men in this situation may feel empowered, attractive, confident, or successful. These feelings can boost their self-worth. The same feelings exist for the third person in the relationship and may lead to emotional dependency on the married man.
Many people who cheat due to self-esteem issues have loving and supportive spouses who always encourage them with care.
Now that we understand why married men fall in love and cheat, we need to know what behaviors a cheating man exhibits and how to detect infidelity.
Usually, if you're asking this question, it means you suspect that you have been a victim of infidelity, or at least there is a problem in your relationship. The signs of infidelity in married men may vary in every relationship, but there are some common things you can look out for.
Your husband suddenly cares a lot about his appearance If your husband suddenly changes and starts caring more about his appearance than ever before, this can be a warning sign. Of course, this isn't always the case, but it is usually an indicator that he is trying to appear more attractive to someone else.
Secretive use of phone or computer Cheating men tend to use their phone and computer more than before and protect them. It’s like their lives depend on it. Since the possibility of infidelity has increased in the online space, if your spouse’s phone or laptop that never had a password before is now encrypted, it's not a good sign.
Your husband is unreachable One sign of a cheating man is that he is less likely to answer your calls and respond to your messages. You may hear excuses like, "I was busy with work," "I was in a meeting," "I was driving," etc. But in general, if your partner is unreachable during work or a business trip, it is a bad sign. Although in some cases, it may be true, you need to judge the truth of these excuses.
Significant changes in sexual activity Both a decrease and an increase in sexual activity in the relationship can be signs of infidelity. A decrease may occur because your husband is focusing on someone else, while an increase is usually because he is trying to cover up his affair.
One way to detect infidelity is if the emotional connection in your sexual relationship with your partner has decreased. Also, if your partner is using new techniques or activities in sex, it’s a bad sign.
Hostile behavior Cheating men tend to justify their behavior. In fact, the psychology of married men shows that one way they do this is by constantly blaming you. They might say things like, "You don’t look like you did in the early days of our marriage," or "You’re not adventurous enough in the bedroom," or "You don’t appreciate all the amazing things I do for you." Therefore, they feel entitled to have a little fun elsewhere.
Your friends and acquaintances seem upset Usually, the last person to find out about a married man who is in love and cheating is his wife.
The cheating man's friends often know about the infidelity from the beginning, and your own friends will likely let you know long before you realize it. This knowledge usually makes them uncomfortable around you, and they might try to distance themselves from you or be overly friendly.
Unexplained expenses If there are strange expenses on your spouse’s credit card or suddenly there is less money in the bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, etc., this is a possible sign of infidelity.
