Saed News: Children's stubbornness in eating is one of the biggest parenting challenges that nearly 90% of parents face. Imagine spending hours preparing food for your little one, only to spend twice as much time convincing them to eat. It’s truly a difficult situation.
According to the Saed News Family Magazine, stubbornness in eating—or worse, refusal to eat—is completely normal among children, especially between the ages of 2 and 7. By "normal," we mean that at least 9 out of 10 parents experience this issue, even if only for a short period.
Stubbornness and picky eating have various causes; some are physical and related to the child's body, health issues, or illnesses, while others stem from behavioral factors.
One reason children refuse to eat is a negative memory associated with a specific food. Let’s take an example: imagine your child loves pizza, but one night after eating it, they experience stomach pain. This bad experience sticks in their mind, making them avoid pizza in the future.
Negative past experiences such as food poisoning or unpleasant flavors can make a child afraid to try a food again.
From around ages 3 to 4, children begin to understand and express independence. They want to make their own decisions, including what they eat and even the plate they use.
Naturally, when parents do not allow them to assert their choices, they may become stubborn.
The more you pressure a child to eat, the more resistant they become. Forcing or chasing them around with food can make them dislike it even more.
Look at recent changes in your child’s life—has something big happened? A new sibling, moving to a different city, or losing a loved one or pet?
Many children temporarily lose their appetite due to stressful situations, making it difficult for them to eat.
As a parent dealing with a picky eater, what have you tried? Let’s guess:
You bribed them (“If you eat your food, I’ll give you ice cream!”).
You compared and criticized them (“See, your brother always eats fast. Why don’t you?”).
You punished them (“No TV tonight because you didn’t eat dinner.”).
You forced them (“You can’t leave the table until you take two more bites!”).
You distracted them (“Watch your favorite cartoon while eating in front of the TV!”).
While these methods may work in the short term, they negatively impact a child’s long-term eating habits. They lose control over their hunger and satiety, making it difficult to develop healthy eating habits.
Studies show that when children participate in meal preparation—from buying ingredients to cooking and serving—they become more excited and willing to eat.
Yes, involving your child might make cooking take longer, but it helps them eat better and fosters a sense of independence.
If you immediately cook something else when your child refuses a meal, you reinforce their stubbornness.
Although it’s hard to see your child go hungry, constantly making special meals turns them into picky eaters. However, this does not apply to children with allergies or food intolerances.
Sometimes, refusal to eat is due to health issues, such as digestive problems that make certain foods uncomfortable to eat. Make sure there are no underlying medical reasons for their food refusal.
Using phones, toys, or TV to keep children quiet while eating distracts them from their food, reducing their interest in eating.
Set an example by putting your phone away during meals, creating a calm environment, and focusing on family interaction. This can significantly reduce mealtime struggles.
Even if your child likes a certain food, too much repetition can lead to boredom and refusal to eat.
Try changing the shape and appearance of meals, using colorful fruits and vegetables, or adding fun decorations to make the food more appealing.
If meals are too close to nap or bedtime, children may be too sleepy, moody, or restless to eat properly. Try to schedule meals at least one to two hours apart from sleep time.
No child has ever become a good eater through force, yelling, or pressure. In fact, this approach usually makes them more resistant and less interested in food.
Instead, identify the root cause of their stubbornness and address it. For example, if they are sick and have no appetite, avoid pressuring them—appetite will return as they recover.
Kids love snacks, but eating too many can fill them up, leaving no room for proper meals.
If your child eats too much junk food, gradually replace it with healthier snacks like fruits and vegetables. This will prevent stubborn mealtime battles.
Some children naturally have smaller appetites. They may eat more at certain times of the day and less at others.
For example, if they eat a large breakfast or lunch, they might not feel hungry at dinner. These fluctuations are normal, and they don’t need to eat at every single meal.
If your child says, “I’m not hungry,” respect their signal and wait until they are ready to eat.
Excessive control during meals can make children anxious and resistant to eating. Here are signs of too much control:
Constantly pushing their plate toward them.
Staring at every bite they take.
Frequently commenting on how much or little they eat.
Trying to spoon-feed them yourself.
Instead, allow your child to eat on their own terms, in their own way, and as much as they want.
