After committing backbiting, repentance and remorse are obligatory, and it is recommended as a precaution to seek forgiveness from the person who was backbitten, provided no harm has resulted, or to pray for their forgiveness.
Backbiting (Gheebat) is defined as exposing and speaking ill of the dignity and reputation of individuals—that is, speaking behind someone’s absence about their bad and undesirable actions or physical and moral flaws in such a way that if they heard it, they would be upset.
Ruling on Backbiting about the Deceased
Sometimes it is thought that the concept of backbiting and the narrations related to it only apply to living people and do not include the dead, so backbiting behind the deceased is considered permissible. However, this is a serious mistake; because according to the narrations, the respect due to a deceased Muslim is like the respect due to a living Muslim.
One can even say that backbiting the dead is, in some respects, more shameful and reprehensible; because the living might hear the backbiting and defend themselves, but the dead are never able to defend themselves. Furthermore, the person who backbites may be able to see the living and ask for their forgiveness, but this is never the case for the dead.
Therefore, speaking ill behind the deceased is not endorsed by Islam and is sinful. When we say in the funeral prayer, even though we might know some faults of the deceased, “We know nothing but good of him/her” («لا نعلم منه الا خیرا»), it is inappropriate to speak ill of the deceased after this prayer.
What Constitutes a Fault (for Backbiting)
Stating something that is not inappropriate but rather commendable, although private, and sharing it causes discomfort to the person, does not count as backbiting—even if said in a critical tone. For example, saying: “So-and-so is committed to good deeds and spends two hours before dawn praying and worshiping but naps during the day!” or “So-and-so gave all they had to the poor and emptied their own pocket.” Such statements, even if said critically, are not considered backbiting because they are not wrong according to religious law and social norms, even if the other party does not like it.
However, in some cases, another ruling might apply that forbids it. For example, if an intelligence officer infiltrates a place, and if it is known that the person prays and worships, a great benefit might be lost, or the person may be endangered. Sometimes a private matter is commendable but naturally one does not want others to know—such as the intimate relationships between spouses. In such cases, revealing these is forbidden but is not backbiting. For example, saying, “Whenever this couple meets, they show love and affection to each other.”
If other factors apply—like causing harm, putting someone in danger, or revealing secrets that they do not want revealed—this is forbidden but still not backbiting.
Repentance from Backbiting
After committing backbiting, repentance and remorse are obligatory. It is recommended as a precaution to seek forgiveness from the person backbitten, provided no harm has resulted, or to pray for their forgiveness. Therefore, if the person backbitten has died, one should pray a lot for their forgiveness. If the person is alive, generous, and forgiving and telling them would not cause hostility or discord, it is recommended to ask their forgiveness. If it is likely that approaching them would cause hostility or discord, one should not approach them and instead pray for their forgiveness abundantly.
Recent Questions and Answers
Q: Please explain backbiting with regard to the following situations:
When two people talk about a known matter concerning a third person.
When the conversation is about a person's virtues.
When parents criticize the behavior of an acquaintance for the proper upbringing of their children.
A: Generally, if something true but unpleasant is said behind a believer’s back, and if the person would be upset upon hearing it, and it is said with the intent to belittle or is considered belittling by social norms, it is backbiting and not allowed. Simply talking for the sake of educating children does not justify backbiting, and discussing a person's good qualities is not backbiting. Similarly, giving advice or consultation is not forbidden.
Q: If someone or some people have wronged me, and due to my sadness and distress, I share this with my mother or friend behind their backs, is this backbiting? Can I defend myself and tell others?
A: If the complaint or venting is with someone who can help solve your problem, it is not problematic.
Q1: Is backbiting about a person openly sinful allowed?
Q2: What is the criterion for openly sinful behavior?
A1: Backbiting about a trait which the person has openly practiced is allowed.
A2: It is based on common understanding (social norms).
Q: If we talk about the trait of anger in an acquaintance, and we believe the person will likely not get upset, have we committed backbiting?
A: Regarding apparent traits that everyone knows, if there is no intent to insult or humiliate, it is not problematic.
