Five Stages of Coping With Grief: Acceptance and Healing; Beginning Again With the Wounds That Remain

According to the Saed News Family Magazine, how can we live with grief and mend our emotional wounds?

Grief and mourning after the loss of a loved one is one of the most painful and challenging experiences in life — nothing else truly compares to it. Yet sadness and sorrow are a natural part of every human life. Whether our distress is caused by a major loss (such as the death of someone close to us) or by smaller everyday disappointments, we can learn how to cope with it and continue living more peacefully.

For the sake of our mental and emotional well-being, it is essential to understand how to face grief and respond to our emotions in a healthy way.

When Does Grief Appear?

The experience of grief is shared by people across all cultures and societies. Human beings encounter this feeling in different forms throughout their lives. The events that can trigger grief range widely — from being diagnosed with a terminal illness, to separation and loss, to the death of loved ones, or even losing a beloved pet.

This article focuses on grief in adults.

In her book On Death and Dying (1969), psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the idea that grief often unfolds in five stages. These stages are not rigid or universal, but they can help us better understand our emotional responses to loss.

The Five Stages of Grief — and What to Know About Them

Before describing these stages, it is important to remember:

• Everyone moves through these stages at their own pace.

• The intensity of emotions differs from person to person.

• The stages do not necessarily occur in a fixed order.

• Some people may not experience all of them, and that is completely normal.

• These stages are not instructions, but a framework for understanding grief.

• People grieve in different ways: some express emotions openly, others keep them inside. There is no “right” way to grieve.

Grieving is deeply personal. Compassion and understanding — for ourselves and others — are essential.

The Five Stages of Grief

1. Denial

The first reaction to painful news is often denial. We may think:

“This cannot be happening.”
“This isn’t real.”

Denial is a natural defense mechanism that protects us from emotional shock. In this stage, people may avoid information, conversations, or reminders related to the loss. A sense of emptiness and unreality is common. For many, this stage is temporary and serves as a buffer against overwhelming pain.

2. Anger

As reality becomes harder to deny, anger often appears. Painful emotions surface and may be expressed as irritability, resentment, or rage — toward others, toward ourselves, toward medical staff, or even toward the person who has died.

Although we may intellectually understand that no one is to blame, emotionally we search for a target. Guilt often accompanies anger, making the emotional burden heavier.

Talking with trusted people, asking questions about what happened, and expressing feelings in a safe way can help ease this stage.

3. Bargaining

Bargaining is marked by “if only” and “what if” thoughts:

• If only we had gone to another doctor sooner…

• If only I had been kinder…

• If only things had been different…

In this stage, we may mentally or spiritually try to negotiate to undo the loss. Guilt and regret are common. Bargaining is another way the mind attempts to regain a sense of control in the face of helplessness.

4. Depression

Depression in grief can take two forms:

• Situational depression, related to practical consequences of loss — financial concerns, loneliness, changes in daily life, or upcoming farewells.

• Deep emotional depression, which comes from confronting the permanent absence of someone we loved.

Sadness, withdrawal, and a need for comfort are natural here. Emotional support, presence, and compassion from others can make a great difference.

5. Acceptance

Acceptance does not mean happiness or forgetting the loss. It means gradually coming to terms with what has happened and learning to live with it.

In this stage, people may feel calmer and more emotionally balanced. There is often a quiet sense of peace, not joy, but a readiness to continue living. It is not about letting go of love, but about letting go of resistance to reality.

Living With Grief

Grieving is a unique and deeply personal journey. No one else can fully experience our inner world, but others can support us through empathy and care.

The most helpful thing we can do is allow our emotions to flow rather than suppress them. Resisting grief only delays healing. Facing it with patience, honesty, and self-compassion helps us slowly recover and rebuild our emotional strength.

Grief changes us — but it can also deepen our understanding of life, love, and ourselves.