Why Does My Husband Cheat on Me? Major Causes of Infidelity + Ways to Detect a Cheating Spouse

Thursday, February 27, 2025  Read time6 min

Infidelity is a costly act that can lead to distress, separation, divorce, and even violence. So, why do men cheat? Despite all its consequences, why do they still engage in it?

Why Does My Husband Cheat on Me? Major Causes of Infidelity + Ways to Detect a Cheating Spouse

According to the Family Magazine section of Saed News, infidelity is one of the most devastating experiences a woman can go through. The foundation of a marital relationship is built on trust, followed by loyalty. When infidelity occurs, the core of the family and emotional bonds suffer severe damage.

The reality is that, according to psychological studies, men (60%) are more likely to cheat on their spouses than women (40%). They engage in extramarital sexual activities, making the possibility of divorce not so far-fetched.

Just as loyalty in marriage involves honesty about thoughts and feelings and commitment to one’s partner, infidelity also comes in different forms. Additionally, there are various reasons why men cheat on the women they love.

What Causes Married Men to Cheat?

Infidelity is an expensive act that can lead to pain, separation, divorce, and even violence. So, why do men cheat despite all these consequences?

Recent studies indicate that even if a woman is an excellent partner, her spouse may still be tempted to cheat for reasons unrelated to her.

Alternatively, a man might feel certain deficiencies in his marital life that he seeks to fulfill outside the marriage through another woman. Before anything else, one must understand these reasons.

1

The Most Common Reasons Married Men Cheat

1. Lack of Love

One of the most common psychological triggers for male infidelity is a lack of love. This means that the man no longer feels passionate or even in love in his marriage.

Instead, he sees the relationship as boring, dull, or stagnant. This leads to emotional infidelity, where the man seeks affection elsewhere.

According to psychologists, a lack of love is a powerful motivator for infidelity and is certainly one of the strongest reasons why married men cheat.

If this emotional void exists in your relationship, your husband may react positively to even the smallest attention and affection from another person. Many extramarital affairs start with simple acts of care and attention.

2. Sexual Desire

Dissatisfaction with one’s sex life in marriage is one of the most apparent reasons men cheat.

In this case, the partner may have lost interest or wants to try something new that his spouse cannot provide. As a result, he seeks to fulfill his desires outside of marriage.

3. Anger or Revenge

Sometimes, married men cheat out of anger or a desire for revenge.

Perhaps you recently disappointed your husband, leaving him hurt and frustrated. He may want to make you feel the same pain he is experiencing.

In other words, the logic behind this type of cheating is: “She hurt me, so now I will hurt her.” Infidelity driven by anger can also occur for reasons other than revenge, such as:

A man feeling unappreciated or misunderstood in the relationship.

Anger towards a spouse who is emotionally or physically unavailable.

Frustration after an argument, leading to infidelity as an emotional escape.

Regardless of the primary reason, anger can be a strong motivator for seeking intimacy elsewhere.

4. Opportunity and Circumstance

Generally, having an opportunity to cheat increases the likelihood of infidelity. However, this does not mean that all men with the opportunity will cheat.

Nevertheless, being in tempting situations often (but not always) increases the motivation to cheat.

For example, suppose you have been having relationship problems, and your husband feels insecure. One day, a coworker expresses admiration for him, saying, “I find you very attractive.”

This might be exactly what he needed to hear at that moment, making it easy for him to engage in an affair. If only one or two factors are at play, he might resist, but if multiple factors align, he may choose infidelity.

5. Unmet Needs

If you ask, "Why does a married man cheat?" The answer is simple—sometimes, the needs of one or both partners in a relationship are not met.

Many people choose to stay in unfulfilling relationships, hoping that things will improve.

However, unmet needs can lead to frustration, which, if unresolved, may turn into one of the primary reasons for infidelity.

This often happens when one or both partners spend a lot of time away from home. Unmet emotional needs can push a person toward cheating.

6. Desire for Variety

A desire for variety is another well-known reason why married men cheat. In relationships, this often relates to sexual variety.

For example, a man may be interested in exploring different types of intimacy that his spouse is not open to.

Additionally, variety could mean different conversations, communication styles, or engaging in new activities with others outside the relationship.

This craving for novelty is often a significant reason for infidelity.

7. Low Self-Esteem

Psychological studies suggest that a desire to boost self-esteem can drive infidelity.

Some men cheat because being with someone new makes them feel desirable, confident, and successful.

A cheating man may feel more powerful and attractive, reinforcing his self-worth. This also applies to the person he is having an affair with, leading to emotional attachment.

Ironically, many men who cheat due to low self-esteem have loving, supportive wives who constantly encourage them.

How to Detect a Cheating Husband

Now that we understand why married men cheat, how can one recognize a cheating husband?

If you're asking this question, it likely means you suspect infidelity or sense that something is wrong in your relationship.

While the signs of infidelity vary, some common red flags include:

Signs of a Cheating Husband

Sudden Increased Attention to Appearance

If your husband suddenly starts caring more about his looks than usual, it might be a warning sign.

While self-improvement isn’t always linked to cheating, it can sometimes indicate an attempt to impress someone else.

Secretive Phone or Computer Use

Cheating men often use their phones and computers more frequently and become protective of them.

With the rise of digital communication, many affairs now happen online. If your husband suddenly starts password-protecting his devices, this could be a red flag.

Becoming Unavailable

A cheating spouse may become less responsive to calls and messages.

You might hear excuses like, "I was busy with work," or "I was in a meeting." While these can sometimes be genuine, consistent unavailability may be a bad sign.

Changes in Sexual Behavior

Both a decrease and an increase in sexual activity can indicate infidelity.

Less intimacy might mean his focus is elsewhere, while increased intimacy could be a tactic to cover up the affair.

Additionally, if your husband suddenly introduces new techniques in the bedroom, it may be cause for suspicion.

Hostile Behavior Towards You

Cheating husbands often justify their actions by blaming their wives.

They may accuse you of not being the same as before, not being adventurous enough, or not appreciating them enough—justifying their infidelity.

Uncomfortable Friends and Family

Often, friends and colleagues of a cheating man know about his affair before his wife does.

If they start acting distant or overly nice, they might be aware of something you aren’t.

Unexplained Expenses

If you notice strange transactions on credit cards or a sudden decrease in money from savings accounts, it might be a sign of infidelity.

Final Thoughts

Understanding the reasons behind infidelity can help address underlying marital issues. However, detecting and dealing with a cheating spouse requires careful observation, communication, and, if necessary, professional guidance.