In a marriage, the smallest verbal and behavioral habits can significantly impact the relationship. From ignoring your partner's feelings to constant criticism and defensive behavior, these habits can drive the relationship toward crisis.
According to the family magazine service of Saed News, marriage is a union where two individuals from different worlds come together in a shared space. This space can be filled with love and cooperation, but sometimes, seemingly small and harmless behaviors can gradually increase tension and exacerbate conflicts. This report examines some of these habits and shows how they can affect relationships.
Ignoring Your Partner's Feelings
One of the biggest mistakes in a marriage is ignoring your partner's feelings. When one partner expresses their unhappiness or problems, and the other responds superficially or dismisses their feelings, it can deepen the emotional gap. Research shows that empathy is a key factor in maintaining healthy relationships. According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, empathy can prevent tensions and strengthen relationships. Ignoring your partner's feelings, especially when they are expressing distress, can lead to feelings of loneliness and worthlessness. For example, imagine your spouse has had a tough day and seeks your support to vent. If you respond with statements like "We all have problems, don't worry" or "It's not a big deal," they are likely to feel that their emotions are not valued, leading to emotional distance in the relationship.
Constant and Destructive Criticism
Constant criticism, especially when it attacks the person's character rather than addressing their behavior, can create deep emotional wounds. Phrases like "You can never do anything right" or "You'll never change" can significantly erode your partner's self-confidence over time.
According to studies by Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage psychologist and founder of the Gottman Institute, one of the four main factors that can lead to divorce is "criticism." Such criticisms make the other person feel constantly judged and never good enough.
Imagine one partner frequently criticizes the other for minor things, like "Why are you always messy at home?" or "Why are you always late?" These criticisms can eventually lead the other person to believe they can never meet their partner's expectations, reducing affection and increasing emotional distance.
Excessive Defensiveness and Not Taking Responsibility
One of the most common reactions during conflicts is defensiveness. When one partner responds to criticism or complaints with "I didn't do anything wrong" or "You're always the problem," it creates a defensive and aggressive stance rather than addressing the main issue. Such reactions do not help solve the problem and make the other person feel they can never have a constructive conversation or resolve issues together.
Research shows that taking responsibility during conflicts can help resolve issues more quickly. A study published in Communication Monographs found that accepting responsibility and self-criticism during conflicts can prevent escalations and tensions.
When one partner does not admit their mistakes or always tries to shift the blame, this lack of responsibility can jeopardize the relationship. For example, if your spouse criticizes you for coming home late and you respond with "You always nag me," this reaction can lead to more anger and distrust.
Verbal Abuse and Threats
Verbal abuse, whether through threats or insults, is one of the most destructive habits in a marriage. Even indirect threats, like "If you do this, maybe we can't live together anymore," can create feelings of insecurity and fear in the other person.
A study in the Journal of Family Violence found that verbal abuse can cause serious emotional harm and damage relationships. When such abuse is repeated continuously, its effects can directly impact the quality of the marriage.
Imagine one partner threatens the other during conflicts, saying, "If you keep this up, I'll leave you" or "I don't want to live with you anymore." Even if said in a moment of anger, such threats can quickly harm the trust and security in the relationship.
Not Spending Time Together and Ignoring Emotional Needs
In today's busy world, one of the major problems for many couples is ignoring each other's emotional needs. When partners are caught up in work, responsibilities, and daily concerns and do not spend time together, this neglect can create emotional distance.
According to research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, when couples do not spend enough time together or ignore each other's emotional needs, their relationship comes under strain, leading to mistrust and emotional distance. You may never realize that your partner needs peace and intimate conversations until this neglect over time causes coldness and a sense of being unnoticed. Even if you love each other, lack of time and attention to emotional needs can severely damage the relationship.
Comparing Your Spouse to Others
Another destructive habit that can harm a marriage is comparing your spouse to others. Such comparisons can make a person feel inadequate and put the relationship under pressure.
Studies show that comparing your spouse to others can reduce self-confidence and create feelings of worthlessness. For example, if one partner constantly compares their spouse to friends or family members, saying things like "Why aren't you as organized as so-and-so?" these comparisons can create feelings of failure and emotional distance.
Lack of Transparency in Financial Matters
Money and financial issues are one of the main sources of conflict in marriages. Lack of financial transparency, secrecy, or disagreements about financial matters can quickly lead to major crises in relationships.
A study in Family Relations found that couples who are not transparent about financial matters are more likely to face conflicts and communication problems. If one partner hides their expenses or makes financial decisions without consulting the other, this can lead to feelings of distrust and dissatisfaction.
In any case, behavioral and verbal habits that may initially seem insignificant can have deep effects on a marriage over time. Therefore, to maintain a healthy and stable relationship, it is essential for couples to be aware of these habits and work on improving their verbal and behavioral communication. Paying attention to empathy, taking responsibility, avoiding destructive criticism and threats, and spending time together can strengthen the marriage and prevent conflicts.
