SAEDNEWS: Handling students of divorced parents is a matter that families, especially teachers and school administrators, must approach with precision and professionalism. Join us as we explore how to deal with these students effectively.
Understanding how to handle children of divorce at school is essential for teachers and administrators. The negative effects of parental separation can make a child's emotions and psychology more fragile, and if not handled properly, it can lead to unpleasant emotional, academic, and even physical consequences. Therefore, psychologists strongly recommend adopting appropriate educational and behavioral approaches considering the impact of divorce on children. Parents and teachers should interact with these children in a fully informed manner to significantly reduce the psychological damage caused by divorce.
Every student at school has their own life story. One of the important responsibilities of school principals, deputies, and teachers, besides teaching, is to pay attention to the emotional and physical conditions of students and to employ appropriate behavioral methods.
Among these responsibilities is handling children of divorce. When the divorce rate in a society like ours rises, naturally, the number of children of divorce increases as well. Therefore, this issue must be taken seriously.
But why? What is the difference between handling children of divorce and other children? The answer lies in the emotional and psychological sensitivities of these students. A child with a single parent usually experiences emotional voids or issues like anxiety. Therefore, to improve the mental health and reduce the stress levels of children of divorce, it is crucial to pay attention to behavioral methods.
Elementary school children think about how to succeed in their studies and make good connections with their peers. But when the issue of divorce arises, a school-aged child starts comparing themselves to others. When they see their peers living with both parents and constantly hear stories about them, they gradually suffer from academic decline and lose self-confidence. The emergence of conflicting emotions in a child of divorce can significantly affect their performance. To explain the impact of divorce on elementary school children, the following are some of the most important issues:
Incompatibility with classmates
Increased stubbornness
Non-compliance with rules
Missing grandparents or other relatives
Obsessive-compulsive behaviors
Persistence
Feelings of fear and anxiety
A sense of insecurity
Guilt
Inability
Difficulty in socializing with peers
Isolation
Lack of interest in school
Anger and aggression
Depression
Disrupted sleep patterns
Loss of appetite
Social withdrawal
Neither teachers nor any school staff can fully fill the emotional voids of children of divorce, as this role belongs to the parents. The most significant problem that children of divorce face is behavioral issues and distraction, meaning they do anything but pay attention to their lessons and classes. Therefore, when the school is aware of the student's situation, it can adopt the correct and principled behavior towards them. Proper training for children of divorce by teachers can significantly improve their condition.
However, the main point is that handling children of divorce at school should be done in a way that does not increase their sensitivities and prevents academic lag, isolation, and distancing from their peers. Below are some key points to consider when dealing with children of divorce at school.
Children with divorced parents often have low self-esteem. If a teacher also focuses on their weaknesses or shortcomings, this self-esteem will diminish even further, and eventually, the child may develop a fear of school.
It is better to recognize the child's strengths and abilities, assign related responsibilities to them, and praise their efforts. Let them believe in themselves and see their capabilities rather than isolating themselves.
Children of divorce often harbor internal anger, which they express through aggressive behavior. They may also be irregular in completing assignments due to anxiety. This is natural because their needs are not adequately met, and they may feel jealous of others.
When dealing with children of divorce at school, try to encourage them during class. Instead of scolding them, provide feedback that suits their temperament. You can also place them in peer groups to enhance their interaction with friends.
Despite all the mentioned effects of divorce on elementary school children, these signs can sometimes be more intense in some kids, potentially leading to dangerous behavior. The more intense the conflicts and disputes between parents, the stronger these effects and the more troublesome the child will be.
Children often hide these feelings from their parents and try to keep them secret. However, the negative impact will manifest in the classroom. If students exhibit dangerous behaviors, it is recommended to contact a child counselor and receive appropriate guidance on how to handle children of divorce in such situations.
Although it is always recommended that handling children of divorce at school should prevent emotional harm, they should never be treated with pity.
Children are very perceptive and can sense pity. This approach not only lowers their self-esteem but also draws the attention of other students to this issue. Such kindness is not constructive but rather destructive.
Never ask a child about their parents' divorce in front of other students or in class. This is very dangerous. Instead, if you want to help them, it's better to talk to them privately and very kindly. Show that you are a good listener and not there to criticize.
If they don't want to talk about an issue, don't insist. Let them feel comfortable. Also, be very careful with the words you use when dealing with children of divorce. For example, if they don't have a mother, instead of saying, "Ask your mom," you can say, "Ask the person who helps you with your homework or prepares your snacks."
To be more effective in handling children of divorce, it is recommended to seek assistance from the parent or guardian. Discuss classroom issues with them to find suitable solutions together. Since the child spends most of their time at home, they receive the majority of reactions and influences there. Instead of asking the child directly, such as who they live with during the week, speak with their parent. This way, you avoid increasing the child's stress and can identify their needs indirectly.
Teach parents that, despite any issues and even after separation, they should never leave the child alone and always provide mutual support. They should avoid speaking negatively about the other parent and discuss problems only when they are alone and the child is not present.
While kindness can be constructive, excessive kindness can be harmful. Our approach to children of divorce should not make them feel entitled to any inappropriate or irresponsible behavior. Excessive freedom and not addressing their mistakes properly can lead to them not accepting any boundaries. Therefore, clearly define rules and boundaries and explain that adhering to them is a responsible and respectable act.
Teachers often discuss the ideal family image, usually involving a father, mother, and child. However, it is essential to avoid this bias and include discussions about all types of families, including single-parent and divorced families. This should be done without any negative or positive biases.
If parents have a school-aged child, they should prioritize them. Proper handling of students of divorce is crucial, as it affects not only their emotional well-being but also their academic performance. Treat students of divorce in a way that helps them understand that it's not the end of the road, and despite their parents' divorce, they can still achieve many successes. In this journey, you can seek help from psychological counselors and take effective steps to reduce the stress of divorce on your children.
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