How to Deal with Children's Picky Eating? / 10 Techniques for Handling Kids Who Won't Eat

The Most Common Reasons for Children's Picky Eating:

1. A Bad Previous Experience Scares the Child: One reason children become picky eaters is because of a bad memory they have with a particular food. For example, imagine your child loves pizza, but one night after eating pizza, they got a stomachache. This negative experience stays in their mind, and next time they avoid eating pizza.

   So, previous negative experiences like food poisoning, bad tastes, etc., can scare a child from trying the food again.

2. The Child Feels Independent: Around the age of 3 to 4 years, children begin to understand their sense of independence and want to make decisions based on their own preferences. One way they show this independence is by controlling what food they eat—everything from the type of food to the dish it’s served in. Naturally, when you don’t let a child have control over their own choices, they become defiant.

   

3. You Pressure the Child: The more you pressure a child to eat, the more they resist. Forcing a child or chasing them around to eat doesn’t just make them dislike the food; it makes them even more determined not to eat.

4. Something Has Made Them Anxious: Reflect on recent events in your life. Did your child experience a big change like a new sibling, moving to a new place, or losing a pet? Many children lose their appetite temporarily due to stressful situations and may refuse to eat or feel unable to eat.

How to Deal with a Picky Eating Child? As a parent dealing with a picky eater, you might have tried several things to get your child to eat, like:

Bribing them (e.g., "If you eat your food, I’ll give you ice cream").

• Comparing and criticizing them (e.g., "Look at your brother, he always eats quickly, why don’t you?").

• Punishing them (e.g., "No TV tonight because you didn’t eat your dinner").

• Using force and threats (e.g., "You can’t leave the table until you finish your food").

• Distracting them (e.g., "Watch this cartoon while you eat").

These solutions may work in the short term, but they negatively affect your child's eating habits in the long run.

Children need to develop control over their hunger and fullness cues, and using these methods can prevent them from forming healthy eating habits.

Techniques for Handling Picky Eating in Children:

Technique 1: Involve the Child in Cooking Studies have shown that when children help with meal preparation—whether it’s shopping for ingredients, cooking, or setting the table—they are more excited and willing to eat the food. This involvement can be as simple as mixing ingredients or setting the table. While it may take longer, it is worth it because your child will eat better.

By doing this, you not only reduce their pickiness but also satisfy their need for independence and control, which is often a cause of their resistance to eating.

Technique 2: Don’t Prepare Separate Meals for the Child! If you're the kind of parent who immediately prepares a different meal after your child complains about their food, this will only encourage more defiance. It may be tempting to avoid seeing your child go hungry, but cooking a separate meal every time they refuse food makes them entitled and doesn’t help solve the problem.

This doesn’t apply if a child has food allergies or cannot eat a certain food.

Technique 3: Check the Child's Physical Health As mentioned, sometimes a child’s resistance to eating is related to physical health issues, such as digestive problems. Make sure to check the child’s health to rule out any underlying problems.

Technique 4: No Distractions During Mealtime! While using devices or toys to keep children entertained during meals might seem like a good solution, it actually distracts them from their food and diminishes their interest in eating. If you put away your phone and create a calm environment, focusing on eating and interacting with family, the child will be more engaged with their food.

Technique 5: Provide Variety in Meals Even if your child loves a certain food, serving it too often will cause them to become bored. Try to vary the meals by changing the shape of the food or using colorful fruits and vegetables. This will increase their interest in eating.

Technique 6: Keep a Gap Between Meals and Sleep If a child eats too close to bedtime, they might feel irritable and uninterested in eating. Try to leave at least one or two hours between meals and sleep.

Technique 7: Forcing to Eat is Worse Than Not Eating! Forcing a child to eat will only make them more resistant. Instead of pressuring them, figure out the reason for their refusal and address it. For example, if they are sick and have no appetite, don’t insist on them eating—when they feel better, their appetite will return.

Technique 8: Reduce Snacks Children love snacks, and overeating them can fill them up, leaving no room for proper meals. Gradually reduce snack intake and replace unhealthy snacks with healthier options like fruits and vegetables. This way, they will have room for regular meals without being picky.

Technique 9: Don’t Ignore the Child’s Appetite A child’s refusal to eat may be due to their appetite fluctuating. If they are not hungry at a certain meal, don't force them. Wait until they are hungry again.

Technique 10: Don’t Control Them Too Much! Excessive control over a child’s eating can cause stress and resistance. Don’t hover over them while they eat or constantly remind them about not eating. Let them eat at their own pace, and in their own way.