When Someone Knows Everything / The Best Way to Deal with a Know-It-All

In 1999, two American psychologists, David Dunning and Justin Kruger, discovered that less skilled people not only struggle to understand issues but are also unaware of their own incompetence! They found that people with little experience are overly confident in their abilities because they don't know enough to realize their ignorance! In contrast, experts often doubt themselves because they have a better understanding of the complexities of a topic.

The Dunning-Kruger effect is illustrated through a curve that shows how knowledge and experience affect self-confidence:

• Peak of Mount Stupid – False Confidence: At this stage, the individual has learned a little about a topic and believes they know everything! Without sufficient experience or knowledge, they make definitive statements and teach others.

• Valley of Despair – Fall from Illusion: After facing real challenges, the person realizes the topic is much more complex than they thought. At this stage, their confidence drops drastically, and they may feel defeated.

• Slope of Enlightenment – Real Knowledge Growth: If the individual continues to learn, they gradually realize there is much more to learn. They no longer say, "I know everything," but seek a deeper understanding.

• Plateau of Sustainability – True Self-Understanding: At this stage, the individual has achieved real expertise, and their self-confidence is balanced and based on real knowledge.

• In Social Media and Media: Uninformed individuals often comment more than real experts, spreading misinformation.

• In the Workplace: Some employees and managers, without real skills, think they are highly capable and make wrong decisions.

• In Education: Students who have learned a bit about a subject believe they have mastered it, but in reality, they are at the Peak of Mount Stupid!

• In Politics and Society: Many people have definitive, unchangeable opinions about complex issues such as economics, medicine, and politics, even though their information is very superficial.

• Always keep learning. If you think you know everything, you’re probably at the Peak of Mount Stupid!

• Consult experts. Instead of relying on your limited knowledge, engage with experienced individuals.

• Welcome criticism. The best way to grow is to accept mistakes and learn from others.

• Honestly assess your level of knowledge. Always ask yourself: Am I really an expert on this topic? Can I explain it simply to others? Do experts agree with me?

• Avoid extreme certainty. True experts rarely use definitive statements like "It’s certain," "There’s no doubt," "It’s always this way."

Being around people who believe they know everything can create complex emotions. These individuals present themselves as superior, making us feel uncomfortable, angry, inferior, or insecure. Interacting with them can be difficult and exhausting, but there are ways to manage the situation and build effective relationships with them.

Of course, talking about how to handle these situations is easier than actually applying these methods. You need time and consistent practice to manage your reactions. Below are some strategies for dealing with such individuals that might be helpful in different situations.

1. Stay Calm Anger is a natural human emotion and can sometimes be useful, but when dealing with someone who thinks they know everything, anger might make things worse. Try to stay calm. This way, you can see the issue clearly and analyze it well. Think before responding. Most people aren't good listeners and often think about their response while the other person is talking. Try to listen actively, think carefully, and then respond. A well-thought-out response earns you more respect and leaves no room for criticism.

2. Don’t Take It Personally Understand that the behavior of these individuals is not about you. They don’t have an issue with you; they act this way to cope with their internal struggles. If you observe their behavior long-term, you’ll see that they treat everyone this way.

   Set boundaries. These individuals may not respect your boundaries at first, but if you persist, they will eventually recognize your strength and improve their behavior.

3. Don’t Engage in Arguments People who think they know everything believe they know everything about you, different situations, and the world. They are skilled in debates and leave no room for others to speak. They seem to have an answer for everything and have learned to create seemingly logical arguments that serve their goals.

   It’s natural to want to defend yourself when you hear someone say something incorrect, but it’s better to consciously avoid engaging in arguments with them. They’ll trap you in a vicious cycle and not let you win. It’s better to find a way to express your opinion with kindness and empathy, or if they attack you, don’t be affected. Exit the conversation and continue when their delusion of superiority fades. Alternatively, you can end a long conversation with a simple sentence like "Thank you for your suggestion."

4. Know Your Strengths Interacting with know-it-alls is draining and requires a lot of energy. Confidence is an effective weapon against these people. If they try to undermine you, don't fall into the trap. Keep your strengths and abilities in mind and rely on them. Confidence helps prevent feelings of inadequacy or incompetence when interacting with these people.

   Don’t forget that their behavior stems from insecurity, and they don’t realize the negative impact they have on others. So, be aware when dealing with a know-it-all. Rely on your abilities and don’t let them damage your mental health.

5. Be Empathetic Try to be empathetic when dealing with someone who thinks they know everything. This approach may seem difficult, but try to understand their perspective and situation. These individuals are often suffering from low self-esteem or personal issues, and they choose the know-it-all facade to avoid feeling hurt. Instead of getting angry, try to understand them; avoid arguments, and speak with empathy.

   Remember, the know-it-all doesn't think you're foolish or uneducated. They respect you, but they don’t see the difference between reality and opinion, so remain calm and ignore their illogical responses.

6. Use Statistics and Examples If you’re in a managerial position and facing a know-it-all, it’s important to show honesty and clarity. Advisors say that people in a meeting tend to model their behavior after the manager’s behavior. Therefore, it’s good to use phrases that show your flexibility and maintain a peaceful atmosphere in the meeting. For example, you can say, "Let’s express our ideas so we can find diverse solutions to this issue." This behavior gives everyone a chance to voice their opinions, and the know-it-all can’t dominate the conversation.

   If you’re presenting a topic to your boss or employer, speak with facts and evidence. Be confident in your information and review it before the meeting. The more accurate the statistics and information, the less opportunity the know-it-all will have to interrupt you.

7. Stay Humorous People who think they know everything tend to act defensively and aggressively. The worst thing you can do is create a sense of threat for them. Speaking sarcastically and mockingly creates fear and has a negative impact on your conversations. Instead, take a deep breath, smile, and continue the conversation with humor. Humor shows warmth and friendship between individuals and disarms the other person in tense situations.

8. Ask Questions Know-it-alls enjoy opposing views and expressing critical opinions. If this situation bothers you, challenge them with questions. This forces them to think before speaking and prevents them from giving illogical responses. When speaking with a know-it-all, politely ask questions. For example, ask why they believe something is true or where they got their sources. Asking precise and thoughtful questions gradually teaches them that they need reliable sources and reasoning before speaking.

9. Give Constructive Feedback You may not believe it, but know-it-alls are unaware of the negative impact their behavior has on others. They always seem confident, but often suffer from insecurity and inadequacy. If their behavior bothers you, it’s best to invite them for a coffee or a private session and express how you feel in a calm and safe space. Be honest with your feelings, but avoid targeting their self-esteem. For example, you can say, "Sometimes it’s hard for me to express my opinion because I’m shy and can’t interrupt others. Could you please wait until I finish talking before you give your thoughts?"

   You can also use this technique in meetings. If a know-it-all joins your conversation, express your request politely and clearly. For example, you can say, "I have great respect for your opinions, but I have a different point to make right now. Could you please share your thoughts only on this specific topic?"

10. Limit Your Relationship If you’ve tried all the above methods and still haven’t reached a conclusion, limit your relationship with the know-it-all. Don’t invite them out, avoid their favorite places, and don’t respond to their unnecessary phone calls. You may think this behavior is harsh and impolite, but remember, your mental health is more important than anything else.

    If you have a colleague who thinks they know everything, your situation is more difficult because you can’t easily avoid socializing with them. In this case, you can pretend you don’t hear them, smile politely, and stay silent. Alternatively, you can change the topic with short sentences or prevent them from talking too much.