7 bad behaviors and habits that will ruin your married life / If you want to drive your husband away, do these things!

Ignoring the feelings of the other person

Ignoring the feelings of the other person is one of the biggest mistakes that can occur in marital relationships. When one partner expresses their distress or problems, and the other responds with superficial answers or dismisses their feelings as unimportant, this neglect can deepen the rifts in the relationship.

Research shows that empathy is one of the key factors in maintaining healthy relationships. According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, empathy can prevent tension from arising and strengthen couples' relationships. Ignoring emotions, especially when one partner is expressing distress, can lead to feelings of loneliness and worthlessness. For example, imagine your spouse has had a difficult day and is seeking your support to vent their frustrations. If instead of listening and empathizing, you dismiss them with phrases like, "We all have problems, don't worry," or "This isn't important," they are likely to feel that their feelings are not valued enough. This can create a significant emotional distance in the relationship.

Continuous and Destructive Criticism
Continuous criticism, especially when it attacks a person's character rather than aiming to correct behavior, can create deep emotional wounds. Phrases like "You can never do anything right" or "You never change" over time can severely reduce the other person's self-esteem.

According to studies by Dr. John Gottman, a well-known marriage psychologist and founder of the Gottman Institute, "criticism" is one of the four main factors that can lead to divorce. This type of criticism makes the other person feel like they are always being judged and can never be good enough.

For instance, imagine one partner constantly criticizing the other's behavior or small tasks, like "Why do you always make a mess in the house?" or "Why are you always late?" These criticisms can ultimately lead the other partner to believe they can never gain the approval of their spouse, which can reduce affection and increase emotional distance.

Excessive Defensiveness and Avoiding Responsibility
When disagreements arise, one of the most common reactions is defensiveness. When one partner responds to criticism or complaints with "I didn't do anything wrong" or "You're always the problem," instead of addressing the main issue, it creates an aggressive and defensive atmosphere. Such reactions not only do not help resolve the problem but also make the other person feel like they can never have a conversation with their spouse to solve issues together.

Studies show that taking responsibility during disagreements can help resolve problems faster. A study published in Communication Monographs shows that accepting responsibility and self-criticism when problems arise can prevent conflicts and tension from escalating.

When one partner refuses to admit their mistakes or consistently shifts blame onto the other, this lack of responsibility can jeopardize the relationship. For example, if your spouse criticizes you for being late home and instead of apologizing, you say, "You always complain about me," this reaction can lead to further anger and distrust.

Verbal Abuse and Threats
Verbal abuse, whether through threats or insults, is one of the most destructive habits in marital relationships. Even indirect threats, such as "If you keep doing this, maybe we won't be able to live together anymore," can create insecurity and fear in the other person.

A study in the Journal of Family Violence has shown that verbal abuse can cause serious emotional damage to the other person and destroy relationships. Especially when this type of abuse is repeated regularly, its effects can directly impact the quality of married life.

Imagine one partner threatening during a disagreement, "If you keep going like this, I’ll leave you" or "I don’t want to live with you anymore." Even if these threats are made in the heat of the moment, they can quickly damage the trust and security in the relationship.

Lack of Time for Each Other and Ignoring Emotional Needs
In today's busy world, one of the main problems many couples face is neglecting each other's emotional needs. When both spouses get caught up in work, responsibilities, and daily concerns without setting aside time to be together, this neglect can create emotional distance.

Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships shows that when couples do not spend enough time together or do not pay attention to each other’s emotional needs, their relationship is put under pressure and can lead to distrust and emotional distance. You may never realize that your spouse needs peace and intimate conversations until this neglect over time causes coldness in the relationship and a feeling of being ignored. In such cases, even if you love each other, the lack of time and attention to emotional needs can severely damage the relationship.

Comparing Your Spouse to Others
Another harmful habit that can damage marital relationships is comparing your spouse to others. These comparisons can make the individual feel inadequate and put pressure on the relationship.

Studies show that comparing your spouse to others can lower self-esteem and create feelings of worthlessness in the individual. For example, if one spouse constantly compares their partner to friends or family, such as "Why aren't you as organized as so-and-so?" these comparisons can create feelings of failure and emotional distance.

Lack of Transparency in Financial Communication
Money and financial issues are one of the main sources of conflict in marital relationships. Lack of financial transparency, secrecy, or disagreements over financial matters can quickly lead to major crises in the relationship.

A study in Family Relations shows that couples who are not transparent about financial issues are more likely to experience conflicts and communication problems. If one partner hides their expenses or makes financial decisions without consulting their spouse, this can lead to a lack of trust and dissatisfaction in the other person.

In any case, behavioral and verbal habits that may seem insignificant at first can have a profound impact on marital relationships over time. Therefore, to maintain the health and stability of this relationship, it is essential for couples to be aware of these habits and work to improve their verbal and behavioral communications. Paying attention to empathy, accepting responsibility, avoiding destructive criticism and threats, and dedicating time for each other can strengthen marital relationships and prevent conflicts.