How to Deal with an Angry Person?

How should we calm down angry people?

According to the SAEDNEWS, Calming down an angry person requires patience. When someone gets h and angry, saying things like "calm down" can make the situation worse. In such situations, you need to be a good listener and adopt strategies that help both of you. But in your opinion, how should an angry person be calmed down?

Step One: Acknowledge Their Emotions

When someone else gets angry, it’s natural for you to feel upset as well, but your anger will only make the situation worse. Focus on calming yourself first and try to return to a natural and peaceful state to avoid escalating the situation further.

Stay Calm
If you lose your temper or become defensive, it will only escalate their anger. However, if you remain composed and logical, it’s more likely the other person will also calm down.

Accept That You Can’t Control Others
One of the hardest aspects of interacting with others—especially close friends or family members—is accepting that you cannot change their thoughts or behaviors. While you can offer to help, you cannot control them.

Ask What’s Bothering Them
Adults prone to blaming or anger often struggle with effective communication. You’ll need to take the initiative to ask what’s upsetting them. Stay calm and give them the space to express themselves. Remember to be persistent and patient.

For example, you can say:
"I know you said everything is fine, but from your behavior, I can sense that something is bothering you. Please talk to me about it so I can help if I can. If now isn’t a good time, come to me whenever you’re ready. I’m always here to listen."

Acknowledge Their Feelings
Reassure the other person that it’s normal to feel the way they do. This is crucial, even if you don’t agree with how they’re expressing their emotions. Validating emotions like anger is a natural part of life and can help people manage their feelings in a healthier way.

For example, you might say:
"It seems like you’re angry about this situation, and that’s completely understandable. Do you think we could talk about it and figure something out to help you feel better?"

Directing the relationship Towards Positivity

If the mistake was yours, now is the time to apologize. If you did something that upset or hurt the other person, this is the moment to take responsibility and say you’re sorry.

1. Apologize for Your Mistake
If you feel you made a mistake, apologize for it. If you believe you didn’t do anything wrong, you can still apologize for making the other person feel bad.

For example, if you made a mistake, you could say:
"I’m really sorry for accidentally downloading a virus on your computer. I understand how upset this makes you, and I’ll do everything I can to fix or replace your computer."

Or, if you didn’t actually do something wrong but the other person is still upset, you could say:
"I’m so sorry for painting the living room with my own choice of color. I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. I’ll make sure to ask for your opinion next time."

2. Use the Word “We”
Using "I" and "You" separates you from the other person, which can make them more defensive or angrier. Instead, using "We" conveys the idea that you’re on the same team, which can help diffuse anger.

For instance, a sentence like this might increase their anger:
"You shouldn’t be upset about your computer breaking. My computer broke too, and I just replaced it without getting mad. You should do the same."

Instead, try phrasing it this way:
"What can we do to solve this problem? Do you think we should take the computer for repairs, or should we consider buying a new one? Together, we can figure out the best solution."

3. Try to Keep Your Tone Natural and Positive
When speaking to an angry person, avoid sounding condescending or as if you’re pitying them. If they feel you’re looking down on them, it might escalate their anger or make them stop listening to you. Also, avoid speaking sarcastically. Maintain a steady tone to ensure your voice sounds natural and sincere.

4. Stick to Facts and Speak Logically When Possible
Avoid speaking emotionally or in a way that the other person might perceive as "blame or criticism." Instead, focus on discussing the facts that caused their upset. Emphasizing facts won't necessarily diffuse their anger, but it also won't worsen the situation.

For example, saying, "I'm sorry the computer broke, but you clicked the wrong link too, so it wasn’t entirely my fault," might make them angrier. Instead, say, "I clicked on that link, and the computer broke. What's done is done, and we can’t change it. Now, we need to figure out a solution together. We could either get it repaired or consider buying a new one."

5. Encourage Rational Thinking
Convincing an angry person to think rationally isn’t easy, but if you succeed, it might help them overcome their anger.

This approach doesn’t work for everyone, but helping someone realize that anger won’t solve the problem can be a starting point for rational thinking. You might say, "I understand that you’re angry right now, and you absolutely have the right to be. Let’s talk and figure out what options we have to resolve this and make things better together."

Be sure to validate their emotions so they don’t interpret your words as arrogance or lack of understanding. After acknowledging their feelings, you can encourage them to approach the situation more logically.

Change the Environment
When someone is angry, try to discuss the cause of their anger in a calm setting.

1. Give Them Space and Time

A person who is highly agitated might not be ready for a logical conversation. Sometimes the best approach is to let them cool off before addressing the issue. If this person lives with you, consider stepping into another room or even going outside to occupy yourself.

2. Suggest a Change of Scenery

Many people find a change of environment helpful when they’re upset. Moving from an enclosed space to the outdoors can significantly improve their mood.

You can be direct and say, “You seem upset. Let’s go for a walk and talk about it.” Or you can be more subtle, like, “I need to step out to grab something. Want to join me for some fresh air?”

3. Encourage Deep Breathing or Meditation

A highly effective way to deal with anger or intense emotions is through deep breathing or meditation. Combining deep breaths with visualizations—like imagining a happy place or picturing negative emotions leaving the body—can amplify the calming effect.

If they’re willing, guide them through a practice, or join them to show support. Here's a simple meditation technique:

Sit comfortably with your feet flat on the ground and your hands on your lap. Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath, filling your belly with air, and visualize a light illuminating your mind as you inhale.
Exhale slowly, imagining dark, cloudy colors (representing negative emotions) leaving your body and leaving behind only light.
Repeat this process 10 to 20 times, or until you feel calmer and more at ease.

4. Offer Solutions to the Problem

If the angry person struggles to regain control and think rationally, suggest a few solutions. Don’t be discouraged if they initially dismiss your ideas—they might need time to process your suggestions. Later, they might return with a clearer mind and be open to one of your solutions.

5. Ask What They Need to Calm Down

If you’re unsure how to help, ask them directly. They might say they need time, a hug, or a walk to feel better.

6. Save Sensitive Topics for Later

If a conversation has escalated into anger, consider pausing it for now. Give them time to overcome their initial anger, and revisit the discussion when they are calm and able to engage more constructively.

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